What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

What is the meaning of xx in texting?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Yes sir it is.

Why are people so rude to debt collector’s? I am one and I am so tired of being mistreated. We are under paid and then have to deal with the most ungrateful, and disrespectful people. We aren’t customer service. Don’t get mad at us because YOU owe.

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

Do you have any problem dating a younger man?

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

Sure no problem officer.

HELLO

Why is Russia always right? All eyes toward Russian glory!

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

After a few moments he returns.

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Do you love fat pussy?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

{RING} {RING}